Goodbyes are never easy

I was in Farmingdale today and of course had to pass my Mom's again. I drove past Friday night around midnight and the lights were on and I seen men standing in the living room. My old room was lit and the dumpster had the downstairs panaling sticking out. Today when I passed ( 3 times )I noticed some more changes. The front door was propped open and I seen them ripping up the carpet on the stairs and the walls seemed to be stripped. The road is so busy even with the 3 times passing I couldn't see how the kitchen ( right at the top of the stairs) looked. It is painful, why do i even do this. But how could you not? Curiosity kills the cat. It could be good though, helps me to get out some emotions. Crying is cleansing. It makes me sad though and makes me miss mom even more. Call me crazy but I am thinking about going Trick or Treating there w/ the kids next Halloween. I wonder if that "smell" will be gone and what it would look like inside. I am going to go park across the street with binoculars 1 night too lol. Nuts I know.